Dedicated to all H4's in U.S

I seek for help everywhere, but all I get hold of is fear, insecurity leading to jealousy and apprehensions. Such inhibitions lead to people behaving selfishly. They tend to question and distrust each other, even behaving rudely comes out as one of the outcomes of such fear.

Here in U.S I can see such behavior most explicitly especially in dependent women. I have struggled to be away from the hold of these insecurities. I don’t know to what extent I am successful. But every day I come across women, who are intelligent, sensible but very insecure in their domains. This is creating a clan of sick families. Government in America or people here may have a mere economic notion because of which they have a law that dependents on H1 visa cannot work, but they do not understand that they are helping breed a sick society in their own country. 

Most people here on H1 want to live their lives in U.S, because this has been their dream since they learned to study for the first time. And now when they have achieved it partially, their endeavor remains to build their lives here. They want to spend their life in this magical nation. But, the very intricate concept of society is what is not in their realm. 

These highly qualified H1 candidates also have another aspiration, in choosing a life partner. They do not feel accomplished with just any partner. They seek an equivalent qualified partners for themselves. When the men on H1 marry, the wives who have been equally aspirational about their career, are forced to live under the law that says “they cannot work to earn”. Now there are other options for them to keep themselves engaged, but those options don’t quite suffice. Reason being, they are equally qualified and “volunteering” as the main part of their career is not something that they had dreamed as the best use of their talents. 

I want to ask, would a qualified engineer (male) would want to spend their life volunteering while their spouses (wives) go to earn? And, in U.S where it is literally not possible to raise a family with children on one person’s earning, is it fair to keep the other qualified member forced to be at home raising a child and continue feeling an emptiness in their lives, that they cannot earn and help the family live an economically stress less life. 

Probably the country invites candidates from different countries for her and the candidate's own good, isn’t it? So, what right do they have to leave them suffering on such a terrible level, doesn’t the basic humanity needs them to be fair?

I didn’t ask for this suffering? I have met women who have gone crazy but they don’t realize what’s causing it. Obama said there will be a rule where H4 candidates could get OPT and they could work. But, does someone realize, before the rule applies, how many more families are going to lose their mental stability?

I would have not paid any heed if I hadn’t been in this situation for a long time myself. It took me a long time to come to my senses, and before that I suffered each day each moment of my life. I cursed my marriage, I hated people who seemed happy. It was so troublesome. My family and many other relatives who cared about me asked me to keep myself busy. But is it that easy to forget your identity and accept a destiny as it is forced on you just in a snap? It is not easy. It is difficult. It has killed me bit by bit for over 2 years. Today, I feel like I have lost a major part of me. 

I cannot forget my condition and I cannot help but empathize with women in that condition today. Women who are suffering each day. I want to do something for them. And, I want all those other women who have been successful in coming out of this curse also to spread their hands and hug away all the troubles of those still suffering.

But this is not all. I also want to encourage all the wonderful girls/women who are suffering because they don't deserve this. 

I want you empower yourselves. To not give in. And, I want you to show what you are made of. You are not made of tears and false hopes. You are made of aspirations, and dedication, and hard work and new dreams. Yes it will take a lot of work, but you are not afraid!

Accomplish everything you want because you can. And I promise you , you can.